The following dialogue is repeated twice. The first time the interaction is filled with joy, mutual interest, connection, and good intentions. The second time, emotions get in the way – jealousy, irritation, frustration, and everything is taken personally.
1: Hey
2: Hey
1: What’s up?
2: Have you seen my green mug?
1: The one with the leaves on it?
2: Yes.
1: Oh, I thought it was mine. I made coffee this morning and grabbed it out of the cabinet. It’s in my room.
2: It’s my favorite mug. My grandmother gave it to me.
1: Okay, okay, I will get it for you.
2: Okay.
(1 goes to get mug and hands it back to 2, who takes it)
1: Do you want me to wash it?
2: I will do it.
1: Is that all?
2: Yes.
1: Okay then.